How people really change their minds and what that means for naturism

It's a process that doesn't happen all at once.

Changing a person’s mind - your own or someone else’s - about something significant is usually not easy. If it can be done at all, more than a little time may be required. But if the objective is important, the effort is probably worthwhile.

There are two separate cases, but many aspects of the process are common to both.

1. Most readers here are probably naturists already and want to persuade someone else - a family member, a good friend, or perhaps a new acquaintance - to learn more about what naturism is really like and how it can enhance one’s life.

2. Other readers who are not (yet) naturists but may somehow have become curious about it, can’t easily see what’s good about nonsexual socializing naked with others, and want to understand it better. Perhaps they have one or more naturist friends or relatives whom they can ask for an explanation. Or maybe they’ve simply seen some mention of naturism online or in a news article.

I’ve just finished reading a good book on the subject: Stop Being Reasonable: How We Really Change Our Minds. The author, Eleanor Gordon-Smith, is a writer and radio broadcaster - not a professional psychologist or sociologist - so the book is not laden with academic jargon. Also, it’s only 200 pages and pretty inexpensive at Amazon. I’ve written a review/summary of it here.

The book comprises an introduction, six chapters, and an epilogue. Each of the six chapters is a case study of someone changing their own mind or someone else’s. None of the studies actually deal with naturism, but in each case the change of mind (if any) is a significant event for the person involved.

I won’t include the whole review here, but it begins as follows (amended and reordered):

Many people aren't inclined to change their minds on significant issues for various reasons. (1) They don't perceive any problem with their current opinions. (2) They're reluctant to entertain doubts about their current thinking and preferences. (3) They're so used to thinking or acting in certain ways that they don't even consider the possibility of being wrong or making any change. (4) They don't want to admit to themselves that some important attitude or behavior of theirs might be mistaken. (5) A change to current attitudes and behavior could incur costs in terms of time or expenses. (6) Making changes in their current attitudes and behavior could upset people important to them, such as family, friends, employers, etc. (7) Making changes could be embarrassing in the eyes of friends and relatives because of having to admit being mistaken.

All or most of these factors can deter people from considering significant changes in their beliefs and attitudes - especially in the case of naturism.

One of the cases considered in the book involves a young man referred to as “Alex”. He has been selected to participate in a "Reality TV" show named "Faking It". The show’s idea is for a participant to play a role that is totally out of character. Alex has to work as a bouncer in a London nightclub. He is just 20 years old, five feet six inches tall, and not at all athletic. Naturally, Alex doesn’t think of himself as the sort of person who could be a nightclub bouncer. Besides that, he’s expected to work at a job that would be intimidating for someone considerably larger and more athletic than he is.

So Alex has to overcome two distinct problems. He needs to reimagine himself in a role that doesn’t at all correspond with his self-image. And he needs to overcome the quite reasonable fears associated with his assigned role.

People who know almost nothing about naturism and have essentially no experience being naked around total strangers face problems analogous to those Alex faced. If you have a friend or acquaintance who’s open about being a naturist and is encouraging you to try it yourself, you’d naturally face problems like Alex’s. That would also be the case if you liked a few articles about naturism on the internet or in a magazine. You would probably not think of yourself as someone who could be comfortably naked where most others are strangers. Aren’t “normal” people supposed to be naked only with others they’re especially close to? (That was less often true a few decades ago when communal showers in locker rooms were common.)

If you happened to visit a nude beach just out of curiosity and were tempted to strip off, you would also be worrying about what others might think about your naked body, unwanted sexual attention, and the possibility of legal hassles if the beach isn’t a recognized nude beach. And, of course, such worries would be greatly magnified for most women potentially interested in naturism.

If you’re already a naturist who was raised in a naturist family or who’s become comfortable being naked and socializing with other naked people, then at some point you overcame most nudity-related fears that non-naturists have. However, if you want to persuade others to become interested in naturism and participate in it, you should be fully aware that those you want to persuade have fears you’ve already overcome or never had.

Why would you want to persuade others to participate in naturism to begin with? If you’re a naturist in the U.S., you probably know that participation in naturism has been declining for over a quarter of a century. (Read this if you haven’t already!) Naturist campgrounds, clubs, and resorts in the U.S. have been closing for around 30 years, and hardly any new ones appear. The same problem affects clothing-optional beaches. In most cases, fewer people use them naked, and nudity is no longer tolerated at others. At both public and private naturist places, the average age of users seems to keep increasing, as fewer young people replace older naturists who drop out. Net result: places and opportunities for enjoying naturism keep diminishing.

Shouldn’t the existing U.S. naturist clubs and naturist organizations be doing more to reverse this trend? Yes, of course - but it’s not happening. If you think about it, that’s not very surprising. Advertising and publicizing positive information about naturism is expensive - it doesn’t just happen by itself. As participation in naturist clubs and organizations declines, so does the financial ability to promote naturism.

So what’s left - other than naturists themselves? The numbers of those, too, are declining. But the difference is that they don’t have to be paid or even spend money to promote naturism. They just need to be more active in promoting naturism to family, friends, and others who might reasonably be interested. And that’s why they need to understand the factors described above that - just as in the case of Alex - cause people to think they couldn’t do something that might expose them to unwanted consequences and is discordant with their self-image.

Yet Alex did change his mind. And many people who’ve never even considered naturism could do likewise.

So, the assignment for naturists - if they will accept it - is to promote naturism to others who are likely to be open-minded enough to consider participation in naturism. Of course, that means not being secretive about enjoying naturism - at least with others who are likely to be open-minded about the idea.

Explaining to others many things that are enjoyable and life-enhancing about naturism is a good place to start. But it’s definitely not enough. As the Chinese sage Confucius explained about 2500 years ago:

• I hear and I forget.

• I see and I remember.

• I do and I understand.

In other words, naturists who try to explain naturism to others or can persuade them to read articles or books about naturism will have minimal success. Much of what is heard or read will be forgotten or not taken seriously.

Others who might be persuaded need to see naturism in action. At a minimum, naturists should seek others who won’t be uncomfortable with a naturist’s nudity in his/her own home, backyard, or outdoor activities like hiking or camping. That’s a good first step. Even better would be inviting others to accompany the naturist on visits to nude beaches or naturist events, clubs, and resorts. Many naturist parks and resorts don’t require visitors to be naked except around swimming pools and spas. That’s especially true if the visitor comes as a naturist’s guest.

However, for someone to really understand naturism it’s essential to do naturism at least in some small way. That’s necessary for the best result. Persuading someone to actually try social nudity somewhere or somehow that seems sufficiently “safe” to them is the key - even if it’s only with whoever has been persuading them. Once they’ve successfully tried and enjoyed it, the effort of persuasion can be deemed a success, because genuine understanding has begun. They may not soon (or ever) start to think of themselves as naturists. Hopefully, they’ll participate in social nudity to the extent it’s feasible and satisfying for them. In the best case, they’ll eventually become active naturists. Win!

Of course, naturists shouldn’t put pressure on anyone. That’s inconsiderate, probably counterproductive, and risks backfiring. They shouldn’t feel rushed. But once someone feels safe enough in the circumstances, they can feel comfortable giving nudity a try. (All this applies to family members too.) It’s fine should they begin trying it privately. If and when they’re ready to experience nudity with others, here are some simple and obvious examples of what can be done:

1. If your home is clothing-optional - where those living with you are OK with nudity - invite your potential naturist friend to be naked for a visit involving a nice meal, playing cards or computer games, or just watching movies.

2. If you own a private spa or swimming pool, invite them to use it naked with you.

3. There are various places on public lands - in National Forests or (U.S.) BLM properties - where nudity is allowed. You probably know the best places to avoid being encountered naked. Invite the other to visit a suitable place for a hike or a multi-day camping experience.

4. If there is a beach, hot springs, or traditional skinny-dipping spot conveniently nearby where nudity is possible, invite your friend to enjoy it with you. Depending on how adventuresome they may feel, pick somewhere based on how many others may be there - naked or not.

5. Some commercial businesses nearby, such as saunas, or yoga studios, may allow nudity or even expect it. Invite a friend to join you if that’s something you enjoy.

6. If there is going to be a World Naked Bike Ride or some other public event where nudity is acceptable, invite your friend to join you.

7. In some larger cities, there may be occasional events - such as movie showings, dramatic performances, or comedy acts - where the audience is allowed (or possibly required) to be naked. That’s sure to be memorable for a first-time naked experience.

8. If you belong to a non-landed naturist club, there will often be events - in homes, commercial swimming pools, or outdoor locations - where you may bring one or more guests. (If you’re not already a member, this would be a good reason to join.)

9. The ultimate beginner experience, of course, would be an actual landed naturist club or resort. Ideally, it should be a place you have visited a few times or are a regular member. While first-timers may be expected to “take a tour” or pass a background check, that may be unnecessary if they visit as your guest.

There are many other possibilities along these lines. I’ve already written about a number of “gateways” to naturism. Those are activities that are popular with many people and can be done privately and naked (in the right circumstances). For example: naked yoga, gardening naked, and exercising naked. Or even housecleaning. Such activities allow a person who might be interested in naturism to experience the pleasure of nudity in a “safe” environment. The activities enable understanding that nudity for its own sake - even if privately - could enhance their life. They also allow a person to understand that nudity is compatible with their self-image - and dispel fears of being naked around others.

Of course, most such activities can also be done with appropriate others, who may or may not be naked themselves. In that case, the activities can make nudity seem almost “normal”. (As it should be!) For example, if one has a private sauna, spa, or swimming pool, using them naked might not seem weird or problematic to others who respect the personal preferences of their friends. Enjoying occasional nudity in such circumstances may make it even more likely to be incorporated into one’s self-image.

For naturists willing to encourage people they know to consider getting involved in naturism, the most common problem may be how to open a conversation about it in the first place. Four months ago I posted 4 steps to take that offer many ideas about how to discuss your interest in naturism with others. Being able to do this confidently and well is essential for persuading more people to participate in naturism.